A feeling that we are in a jungle is desired.

 

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The set is a jungle setting. Mabu, a very native looking person is sitting there with jungle sounds going around.

MABU: Mabu. Mabu. Mabu. Mabu. Mabu. Mabu. (MC enters.)

MC: You are looking at Mabu..

MABU: Mabu. Mabu.

MC: He is all alone in this jungle. Alone with the animals. (jungle sounds are heard) This is the story of Mabu, King of his own jungle. How he got here, no one knows. Because no other human has ever set foot in it. That is until today. (MC exits. Gloria and Rodney enter wearing safari outfits.)

RODNEY: Wow, this is some piece of land, isn't it Gloria? Just what they said it was on TV.

GLORIA: Buy a real piece of wilderness.

RODNEY: That's what they said. Virgin land.

GLORIA: Just like what I was, right Rodney.

RODNEY: That's right Gloria. It better be right. You're sure you never did it with anyone?

GLORIA: Oh Rodney, why would I lie to you.

RODNEY: Look at this--only thirty dollars a month.

GLORIA: For the rest of our lives.

RODNEY: But what a life, the hunting, the fishing we can just live off the land.

GLORIA: Live! Life! Life, so wonderful and precious. (Mabu appears)

MABU: Mabu. Mabu. (Gloria turns and screams.)

RODNEY: Stand back! Stand back Gloria!

GLORIA: What is it?

MABU: Mabu. What are they. Sure look funny.

RODNEY: It's some kinda ape. It sure ain't human.

MABU: They make sounds like I never heard. Mabu.

RODNEY: Ubam lubam. Ubam lubam lubam ubam.

GLORIA: Lubam ubam ubam.

MABU: Can't tell what they are? They sure aren't animal, that's for sure.

GLORIA: Is it going to hurt us. 

RODNEY: He doesn't look like it. Looks kinda curious. (to Mabu) You're not going to hurt us, are you?

MABU: Mabu. This strange thing makes funny sounds at me. Looks harmless, though. It seems quite curious.

GLORIA: Try and touch it.

RODNEY: Come on, Gloria. I can't do that.

GLORIA: Go on, give it a try.

RODNEY: You know better. You're not supposed to touch strange animals in a strange jungle.

GLORIA: I'll touch it then.

RODNEY: I think we should shoot it. Kill it!

GLORIA: No!

RODNEY: The TV commercial emphasized hunting.

GLORIA: It's inhuman. No, I want to touch it. (She touches Mabu)

MABU (jumping back): That thing touched me. I never had an animal touch me like that before.

GLORIA: Look at it Rodney. The poor thing's just frightened.

MABU: Wonder why it did that?

GLORIA: I'm going to try. again.

RODNEY: I don't know about this. Be careful Gloria.

GLORIA (To Mabu as though he were a scared kitten.): Lubam. lubam ubam luban. (She goes on until she can touch Mabu.)

MABU: Something strange about these things. Something I can't figure out. I think I'll keep them as pets.

GLORIA: Can he be our pet? Can he Rodney?

RODNEY: Oh, I guess so.

GLORIA: Oh Rodney, our first pet.

MABU: Mabu.

RODNEY: What're you going to call him? That is, if it is a him.

GLORIA (to Mabu): Come here my little pet. Come here and let me look at you. (She gets Mabu to come very close.) Now let me take a little peeksy weeksy. (She peeks) It's a male. Man, is it a male'

MABU: Mabu. That's really a curious animal. Mabu.

GLORIA: Lets call him Mabu. That's like he talks. Okay Rodney.

RODNEY: He's your pet, you have to take care of him.

MABU: Mabu mabu. (Blackout. MC enters. Lights come back up.)

MC: Rodney and Gloria took Mabu, prince of his jungle for a pet. Mabu, took Rodney and Gloria for his pets. After a month they got to know each other very well. They got food for each other and Mabu slept by their crude bed in their crude grass shack every night. (MC exits. Mabu enters.)

MABU: Strange, these animals. The one, I know she is a female animal. She makes me feel tingles. Tingles I never felt before. (Gloria enters.)

GLORIA (offstage to Rodney): Did you feed Mabu today?

RODNEY: I told you he was your pet. It's your responsibility to feed him.

GLORIA (to Mabu): Oh Mabu, I'm sorry Rodney didn't feed you. Ubam bamu etc...

MABU (over Gloria's voice): Since these creatures came here, I got it made--Just lay around and eat.

GLORIA: Ubam. And you know mabu, you've become more than an animal to me, (starts caressing him) you've literally become human. A very warm and cuddly human. You know, when you sleep by our bed at night, I just want to pull you up with me. Hug you and make love. Mabu, Mabu, Mabu.

MABU: Mabu. What's happening here? (Blackout. Lights up on MC.) MC; Needless to say, Mabu, prince of his own jungle, happily lost his virginity. Gloria and Mabu took every opportunity they could to keep their affair in full swing. Even at night when Rodney was in deep sleep. And Rodney never having the slightest inkling as to why his wife suddenly sprouted a constant happy tired eyed smile. Then one day they had a visitor. (MC exits, FARNBALL, a businessman, enters. Gloria is petting Mabu.)

GLORIA: You know Mabu, I think that I'm sure that you are human.

FARNBALL (Mabu gets excited at the stranger and Gloria jumps up.): Calm down now Mrs. Pearson. I'm Farnball, legal attorney for Jungle estates. I'd like to speak with Mr. Pearson.

GLORIA: Yes, of course. Rodney! Rodney, come here at once!

MABU: Another strange one. Hope his mate comes along, too. (Rodney enters.)

RODNEY: What the...

GLORIA: This is Mr. Farnball.

FARNBALL: Mr. Pearson, I don't have time to waste. You are three months behind on your payments.

RODNEY: I lost my job. I'm trying to raise a crop.

FARNBALL: Our lands are full of inexperienced farmers, trying to live off the land.

RODNEY: But your TV ad said you could live off the land.

FARNBALL: You're not dead are you? You can live off the land as long as we get our thirty dollar monthly payments. Now I know you don't have the payments, but I'm willing to make you a deal. 

GLORIA: We can't leave, Rodney. Do anything so we can stay, anything. (Hugs Mabu)

RODNEY: What's the deal?

FARNBALL:- You made a five thousand dollar down payment. Okay, we at Jungle estates are willing to forget the three payments you owe us. And in return, you give the land back to us.

GLORIA: No! No!

RODNEY: And lose five thousand dollars.

FARNBALL: No, you won't lose anything. We want to build a twenty story combination apartment resort hotel. It will be called the Jungle Clouds Resort. You will have a free room on the eighteenth floor with an unobstructed fantastic view of this jungle wilderness. That's what your five thousand dollars will buy.

GLORIA: Then we can stay here?

FARNBALL: You can stay here for the rest of your lives.

GLORIA: Whoopee!

RODNEY: We'll take it.

FARNBALL: Just one thing though. The rooms are worth five thousand dollars twenty times over. You'll both have to work forty hours a week.. Mrs. Pearson as a maid, and Mr. Pearson as a janitor.

RODNEY: I don't want to be a janitor. 

FARNBALL: Then get off this land. Right now!

GLORIA: Do it Rodney! Let's make this our home. We don't have anything else.

FARNBALL: The room is air conditioned and your food is free. Just sign here.

GLORIA: Go on Rodney.

RODNEY: I don't have much choice, do I? (He signs)

FARNBALL: Construction will begin tomorrow. You can live in your shack until the Jungle Clouds is ready for your occupancy.

MABU: Mabu. Mabu.

FARNBALL: What's that, It's the strangest creature I've ever seen.

GLORIA: That's Mabu, he's our pet. And what a pet. As a matter of fact I better feed him. (She exits)

FARNBALL (to Rodney): He's really unusual, isn't he?

RODNEY: Why, yes, very unusual.

FARNBALL; I'll tell you what, Pearson, you don't want to be a janitor, do you? How would you like to be the pool supervisor instead?

RODNEY: Sure.

FARNBALL: All you have to do is give us charge of your pet.

RODNEY: You can have him.

MABU: Mabu.

FARNBALL: It's a deal then. We will take charge as soon as the building is complete. Walk with me to my helicopter and we can talk about the details. (They exit. Gloria enters with Mabu's food.)

GLORIA: Here you are Mabu. How about a little pre dinner exercise?

MABU: Mabu mabu... (Blackout. Lights come up on MC)

MC: So, in practically no time the Jungle Clouds was complete. Even Mabu got his own special room. (Blackout. Lights come up. Mabu is in a cage.)

MABU: How did I get here. Can't get out. (Gloria and Rodney enter.)

GLORIA: Today's the day. Did you see Mabu today?

RODNEY: There's something I've been meaning to tell you, Gloria. (She sees Mabu in the cage)

MABU: Mabu.

GLORIA: Oh god, what're you doing in there, Mabu.

RODNEY: I sold Mabu to Farnball. He wants him for a tourist, attraction.

GLORIA: How could you! How could you do that? I want him out! (Farnball enters)

FARNBALL: That's impossible. He's been declared a dangerous creature by the new government.

GLORIA: He's not dangerous. He's lovable. Very lovable.

RODNEY: Come on Gloria, let's go up and see our new air conditioned apartment.

GLORIA: Can't he stay with us at night?

FARNBALL: There are no pets allowed in this building. Besides, this creature is dangerous and can never be let out of it's cage.

GLORIA: That's pure torture.

FARNBALL: It's not that bad. He can eat and sleep all he wants. He gets everything that he needs.

GLORIA: He needs his freedom. He needs me.

MABU: Why do they put these bars around my jungle?

FARNBALL (to Gloria): The guests are starting to pour in. Go start making up those rooms.

GLORIA: Oh Mabu. My poor Mabu.

FARNBALL: Do it now! (pushes her)

RODNEY: Do as he says, Gloria. We've got to live.

GLORIA: That's right. We gotta live. (Exits)

RODNEY: Don't worry about her Mr. Farnball, she just has to get used to the job.

FARNBALL: You better get over and check the pool out yourself.

RODNEY: Yes sir. (Exits.)

FARNBALL (to Mabu): And you my little pet. You are billed across the world as the only one of its kind.

MABU: Mabu. Mabu. (Lights start flashing. Things start happening. When things come back to normal Rodney, Gloria and Farnball are in the cage and the are talking "Ubam nabu etc." Mabu is outside the cage wearing a tour hat.)

MABU: And now concluding our tour of the Jungle Clouds Resort is the well advertised capture of the most dangerous creatures in the world. They are so dangerous that there really isn't a name for them. They have many names but they can only be recognized through your own suffering. I hope you have enjoyed this tour and will return on your next vacation. And to all of you, one big Mabu!