If you can see only one play this year, "Tea" is definitely not the one to see.　　 

BUT, ON the other hand , if you're tired of seeing bad plays and good ones, "Tea" may be your cup. It just doesn't fit into these categories.　　 

Tea is a mixture of "Tillie's Punctured Romance," "The Drunkard" and "Marat Sade" performed by the Keystone Cops under the influence of mentholated hashish.　　 

It's full of four-letter words and naked girls in "Hotel Street type acts of love," yet it has the bright eyed innocence of a grade school Christmas play..　　 

It's weird and terrible and so bad that at times it provides side splitting entertainment. Anne Sigman and Maria Vilanova are the two housewives who are frustrated with their marriages sufficiently to run away-- with each other.　　 

THE DIALOGUE capping their discovery of lesbian love:　　　 

Zelma: "You know what?"　　 

Margaret: "What?"　　 

Zelma: "We can never have a baby."　　 

Margaret: "True"　　 

Then there is the Hunter (Bill Rogers) hired by the two husbands to kill the girls, and the Amazon Queen (Jessica James) who arrives in a procession that could make razzle-dazzle master Robert C. Holloway green with envy, and T.T.Chang who is the waiter bored with his job and embarks on a new career--as a waitress.　　 

There is a very good onstage band performing the music David Kauahikaua's music with an excellent trumpet player, Billy Chang.　　　 

On the stage constructed for the occasion (slanting at 30 degrees), under jury rigged lights, there is more madness, melodrama and satire of a simple mind's concept of comedy taking place than is humanly impossible in 90 minutes.　　 

But it does happen. I think.　　 

Or it could have been a funny nightmare.